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     It looks like the theory I reached some 5-6 yrs ago - based on a decade-long observation - has once again proven to be true: for some reason entirely unknown to me, all even-numbered years end up being very intense and bring significant changes in my life, while the odd-numbered ones turn out to be quite dull and uneventful. Why is it so, I honestly do not know.....but that's the way it is. :shrug:
Mind you, I'm not complaining :)
In a way, I know what to expect an entire year in advance, and know when to stay sharp and alert, and when to afford some laid-back attitude and accumulate the energy for things to come. And that can only be good.

Whereas 2014 was one of the most intense and demanding years of my life regarding many aspects and had left me completely consumed and squeezed dry of literally every drop of energy,  due to everything that was accomplished in it, the following year of 2015 had a very slow and relaxed pace.
Deservingly  so. :nod:

Nothing much happened. We began to get accustomed to the new neighbourhood and to living in our own place (where we moved in toward the end of the previous year), slowly furnished it bit by bit (as much as the budget allowed), enrolled our two boys in the local kindergarten and community activities, and that was pretty much the target of the majority of our efforts - settling-in of sorts. My wife's maternal leave had expired in Jan '15 and she eventually found a good job (where she's quite happy, and our house budget increased significantly), and that's about it regarding the important events.
Summer vacation - which I immensely looked forward to, due to forsaking the summer of the previous year in favor of staying behind and working on remodeling our newly-bought place - was quite underwhelming. I guess one major factor was the continuous presence of my father-in-law during all 3 weeks...which is a stupid thing to say, it's his summer house after all, he just happened to be (at least partly) occupied elsewhere during all our previous summers spent there. The thing is, I've always had this (justified) feeling that the guy doesn't like me much (it's a very long story)......I mean, we are cool and all, but I simply can't fully relax and be myself when he's around...

Work-wise, things were stagnant as always, ever since the goddamn economic crisis began years ago.....until Sep 01, when I returned from the aforementioned vacation and found a memo on my desk, saying that the firm was shutting down, and that I was fired.
Truth be told, I didn't get upset much, since I grew tired of that job quite a while ago and wanted to leave not only that, but that whole type of work as well....but didn't want to take the risk in such suck-ass times. Until, as it happened, others decided for me.
I must admit, these past 4 months have been quite relaxing. I got a solid severance pay, and instead of stressing out, I felt as if I was on a long-deserved vacation, after  11 continuous years working  on full-time jobs. Finally some room to breathe, since time immemorial... :aww:

...but, that has come to an end - after much studying, preparation, testing and failed attempts, I got chosen for a job in one government agency (related to my profession), and start on Jan 04.
It's only a year-long contract, but beggars can't be choosers, right? Plus, it's something entirely different from what I used to do, and that makes me happy :)

Drawing? Not much of it took place, it's very hard to find time with 2 little kids at home. I did start having significantly more available time after suddenly losing my job, but it wasn't that simple....it took me a while to wrap up all the work from the (ex) firm that got left behind me, then to get accustomed to studying after many years - all government jobs require several rounds of testing, mostly legislature material, and since I wanted to drastically change the type of work I was doing, it was a logical choice......and between all that, it took some more time to gather my senses, since freedom was something I was unfamiliar with.

With the rest, I did manage to get some drawing done...but in relation to my 'freedom', most of it was experimenting and exploration of unknown areas, with little concrete results.
Among them was probably the best individual piece I've ever done:
The Coming of the Towers page 16 :sans lettering: by saganich
Very proud of this baby and what it stands for within my mental landscape, and in my opinion, things can only go upward from this.
...and due to alternating shifts on my new job, I'll have much more time for myself and my stuff, so I'm looking forward to what the next year brings. :w00t:

***
What can I say? Years ago, it became evident that the goddamn economic crisis messed up many long-term plans. I've long come to peace with the fact that I still didn't come to own my own business, or our own summer retreat on the shore, or drive a vintage Alfa Romeo :).......but given all the circumstances, I most honestly cannot complain.
We have pulled through the worst of times and are now doing more than good.....just heading toward a new direction that perhaps wasn't part of the plan, but it doesn't mean that it's not good. Maybe less abundant and much more low-profile than planned, but still a future I'm looking forward to :#1:

One more thing - this (barely gone) December marks one very important event for me: with it gone, I have spent more than half of my life in this city, where I came when I left my parents' home after high-school, got my degree at the university and began building a whole new life far away from my old home. Coincidentally or not, I finally started feeling 100% truly at home here.
And that can only be a good thing :)

Happy New Year, everyone! :la:


  • Listening to: Secret Chiefs 3 - Perichoresis
  • Reading: Hermann - Bernard Prince
  • Watching: Fargo s2
  • Playing: with my boys
  • Eating: a lot of holiday goodies
  • Drinking: Hennesy on the rocks
:bulletred:

5th week of my unemployment, and I still haven't managed to use that much-coveted extra time I used to dream of, in any way....

Week 1 - taking care of leftover stuff and loose ends from the old firm, working full time from a chair that wasn't mine anymore
Week 2 - wrapping up the stuff from above in the afternoons at home, mornings spent with my younger son on gradual adaptation to his new kindergarten, increased stay each day with me present
Week 3 - continuing the adaptation, this week I'd leave a bit earlier each day, gradual 'abandonment'
Week 4 - picked up some work to help out old colleagues, and did that while being sick as a dog. With so many wheezing and sneezing and coughing toddlers about in constant close contact, kindergartens are, like, perfect breeding ground for all kinds of bugs... and I had spent 2 previous weeks in there, full time.
Week 5 - which is now - still not fully recovered, but relatively  functional. Even with the aforementioned stuff to do, I could probably squeeze in an hour or two a day, just for myself......but alas, now the kids have started falling ill and need to stay home......

Universe, what do you find so repulsive in the idea of li'l ol' me being left alone to do some drawing.....? :cry:


:bulletred:

'Rick and Morty'.
I...... love it!! :la:

Honestly, this must be *the* funniest shit I've seen in y-e-a-r-s!
I absolutely love the show and everything about it, and regularly laugh like an idiot at each episode....honestly, as if someone tapped into my brain, extracted precisely the kind of humour that pleases me the most, and made an animated series of it, heh!
Total absurd with major mind-fuck characteristics, in deadpan delivery...... and comedy-sci-fi setting, which makes it a goldmine for the insanest and most absurd shit that a mind can conceive!
Plus, it manages to stay fresh and funny and surprising, something that's superbly hard to achieve. When you think you've seen it all - WHAM!! :headbang:

This is what Futurama could have been, had it not taken the dull road relatively early on....
Seriously - to me, this is pure gold. Only 2 seasons in (one ep. remaining), and I can freely say that this ranks up among my top animated series of all time.

Get Schwifty, everybody! :boogie:

:bulletred:

I always find it very pleasing when someone unexpectedly picks up one of my old things here and decides to give it their own treatment. :woohoo:

This time, mr. :iconhellbat: took
TF: Mosaic - 'You' by saganich
and made
You - colours by hellbat

As always - in the process such as this one, there's no need of asking me if everything turned out okay, should something be changed, and so on...
When drawing black&white stuff, my mind switches to monochrome perception of things, and I already said everything I wanted to say. Once I'm done with it, my 'vision' of each such piece ends right there, everything beyond it remained out of reach of my contemplation or perception.
....bottom line being - if you're happy with what you've done, so am I.
And honoured. :ahoy:

:#1:
  • Listening to: Chvrches - Every Open Eye
  • Reading: Comandante Mark
  • Watching: Nochnoy Dozor
  • Playing: with my sick kid
  • Eating: a sandwich
  • Drinking: macchiato
First off, I'd like to thank the Anonymous Deviant who gave me a 1-month Premium (whoops - it's 'core' now?! Whatever...).
Whoever you are, it's much appreciated. :thanks:
....and kind of weird and telepathic, since I planned to do that myself one of these days anyway.
In order to - once again - change the username, yes.

Why? Those of you who have been following this space know that I was sacked from my job some 2+ weeks ago (the firm is closing), so it's logical to assume that I'm looking for a new workplace.
...and even though this here has nothing to do with my profession, I figured that one more funky addition to my CV wouldn't hurt. So, during the last day or two I've been combing through everything I have here, and hiding deviations, journals and comments which may be deemed 'inappropriate'.
Until I arrange a proper portfolio somewhere, I guess it'll have to do. :)
All that remains is changing the (inappropriate?) username. To something lame like my personal last name, most probably..

Again, none of this has anything to do with my field of work - but to tell you the truth, I wouldn't mind stepping out of it for a time, if a decent opportunity for something on the side arises...so if it happens, I guess I should have something ready for showing.

***
As another strange coincidence, precisely around this time of year 11 years ago - I remember it was mid-September - I got my very first pay.
It was far from first money that I ever earned - I often did one-off odd jobs during my student days, as a boost to the pitiful allowance my parents used to send me, and before that I worked on summer jobs ever since 7th grade and through the entire high-school - but unlike all that, this was the first pay I earned by working in that what I (for reasons still unknown to me) chose as my vocation and future career.
I was still a student at the time (got seriously fed up with academia, so I temporarily abandoned it and went off to work as a student apprentice for 2 years), but regardless of that, it was one of the best feelings and finest moments I've ever had, before or after.
All of a sudden, I found myself with four-times the amount my parents used to send me every month, and for the life of me, I didn't have the faintest clue on what to do with all that immense fortune!
That day, I was so full of pride and felt as if I could buy the whole world. And it was truly priceless. :)

Reasons still unknown, hm.....yeah, in a very weird way, I think that's the right way to put it.

For as long as I can remember, I have been drawing. Non-stop, in any place and any occasion, on anything I could find. Of all my ancient drawings that I managed to preserve, only a small percentage is on clean sheets of paper. There is stuff on backs of calendars and dot-matrix-printed financial reports, on chocolate wrappers, flattened shoe-boxes, torn-out pages of unidentified origin, even papers that originated in some deli and still faintly smell like salami.
On anything and everything. And all I wanted to do is to write and draw my own comics.
Which I did.
Either sketching and developing something, or working on something concrete, I've been neck-deep in comics every waking minute since my earliest days.
The oldest surviving example (when I was 8) is here:
The Fanzine by saganich
..but I remember even older stuff, even though none of it survived.
As you may read in the description of that thingy above, my parents weren't too excited about any of this, ever, so all that my drawing amounted to is a silly hobby which kept refusing to die. To this day.

During my high-school days, I developed intense passion for biology, to the point that it became something I genuinely wanted to do in life. Up to the very end of my senior year (even my final graduation paper was biology-themed), I had a rock-solid vision of myself specializing in marine biology and loving every minute of it. I thought (and still do) that it would have been something truly fantastic.
......however, I *still* cannot pinpoint to what exactly changed my mind back in June of '97, and why I decided to go to a different admittance exam. Was it perhaps an ill-placed remark by my parents, relatives or someone else? I honestly wouldn't know....
In any case - I made it through, 36th out of many hundreds of applicants, and went on to study architecture.
Finished the thing, and then some (made it to Master's), and have been working in it continuously since 2004.
And I dare say - I was doing a damn fine job.

Now, I'm out of it, and looking for a new one within the same field.
Because in the eyes of the law, that's what I'm qualified to do. And I'm very good at it.

...it's just, how come I feel 100% fulfilled work-wise only when I work on a comic page that I have written myself, or design a concept for some character/vehicle/setting, or do an illustration that I have conceived...?
For the record,  I recently made a catalogue of all my comic-related work that I can account for and physically present on demand, and I'm nearing my 1,000th page...
And how come, in situations when I need total mental escape or need to kill time, I'll sooner or later once again subconsciously end up going through endless wiki articles and documentaries about marine creatures, which is something I could do for hours on end..?
...and, to conclude, why is only a handful of my 300+ deviations here related to that what I do for living?

Hm...now when I break it all down like this, that what I wrote above most likely answers the question in the description of this ol' thing, which I stumbled upon while scrutinizing my stuff here...

Stingray Girl by saganich

Ah, well...
We'll see what the future holds.
Soon.

****
dammit, here I go again.....just like in the olden days, I just kept on typing without looking back, and look where that went.  Now, plus on more than one occasion recently, in comments and replies.....So...accept my apologies.
Yet another retarded life story that's nobody's concern but mine, likely spamming your 'notifications' section.
I promised to myself (and to you all) years ago that I'd stop doing that. And I did.

It's just - like back then - I have things on my mind, and I guess this provides a therapy of sorts, even if it never leaves the editor (like on many occasion thus far), and no one ever reads it.
Plus, I'm home at 2PM on a workday, something that has happened only a small number of times during the aforementioned 11 years....and every time, either me or someone else was sick.
.....so, it's somewhat of a new situation to me.

Gah.....since I already bothered to type all this, I might as well click the button......
  • Listening to: Zooropa
  • Reading: Gipi - 'S.'
  • Watching: Bones
  • Playing: with my kid
  • Eating: pig in a blanket
  • Drinking: espresso
Only dead tired..

So, where have I been?
Where to begin? Hmm....

(SPOILERS: irrelevant personal shit ahead with no relation to art whatsoever, no need to read it at all)
-
-
-

Anyways....back in spring, we came across a beauty salon for sale, on +1 level of an apartment building in the southern part of the city. The place looked horrid and incredibly kitschy,  but the price per m2 was more than okay, the location was fantastic, and the layout had huge potential.........so we decided to go for it.
...and gathered a tonne of paperwork and submitted a loan application to the bank. After a month+ of them scrutinizing every goddamn tidbit and us losing a lot of nerves over the result (since the down-payment was non-refundable) , they granted a loan, and we bought the place.

After every single detail was arranged and agreed upon, and all our documents transferred to this new address, wife+kids went away to the coast to my mother-in-law's in early July, and I forsake my summer vacation in order to stay behind and live 3 months on frozen fries and chicken by-products (quite skilled in cooking and love doing it, but there's no fucken way I'd cook just for myself).......and tear the new place down, because it was decorated like some baroque whorehouse, and very expensively so (a crying shame I had to demolish it - from financial standpoint, I mean...it looked truly hideous)........so, to save cash until the chosen contractors arrived, I spent about a month of my after-work hours demolishing ugly gypsum details and marble-topped parapet counters, highly expensive plaster-works ordered from Italy with golden grains and shit , tearing down, packing and ditching more than a tonne of unnecessary dry-walls and dropped ceilings, and chiseling away the expensive but ghastly floor parquetry..........and then let in the contractors, to demolish 2 more partition walls and add some new ones, and over the course of 2 months, re-model the ugly thing into a great 3-bedroom apartment according to our design!

During those latter 2 months, the daily routine consisted of work 8-4 -> daily inspection of the construction site, correcting mistakes, solving problems and providing plans and details -> countless various errands and hunt for components, materials, appliances and pieces of furniture which my missus and I chose, all over the city (and managing their deliveries later) -> arriving home -> collapsing.
.....and all the while, sorting necessary from unnecessary belongings and packing up everything a 4-member family owns, and getting it ready for transport when the new place gets finished.

I hauled it all during the course of 3 days, entirely by myself (save for one load with a rented van+grunt, for stuff too big to fit in my car), then polished every single surface of the old place squeaky-clean in a 13-hour marathon while packing up and loading one last car-full of leftover stuff, and after a few hours of sleep, handed the place over to my (now former) landlord, transported that one last round, and immediately after unloading it, sat in the car and somehow made it alive through a 400km drive to the coast.....toward my missus and the kids. After 3 months, I had nearly forgotten what they looked like (no, we couldn't skype, I had to cancel the 'net....and my phone is ancient and has no web access, I couldn't care less about that stuff).

The drive took forever, since around 1/3 of the trip I had to leave the motorway..... because, despite loud music and 2 gigantic mugs of coffee I had before departure, it was way too dull and monotonous for the beat-up state I was in, I nearly fell asleep several times...
....so I traveled across the country on small local roads. A slow and long process, but countless ascends, descends, curves, and keeping track of where the fuck I was at any given moment served their purpose and kept me awake.

I stayed down there for a week - I didn't use up my summer vacation time, so I took a week off then - and managed to regain a bit of energy (even went for a swim in October!), and then brought my family back to their new home. :)

...and here we are! At first it was very difficult - living amidst boxes, sitting on lawn chairs and eating on our knees, with barely any free floor to step on - a bit nightmarish, especially considering there's an infant in the house - but it felt darn good! Because everything inside these walls - including the walls - belongs to us! :w00t:
After 2 weeks of being here, much of the stuff has has been sorted out (but still not quite - remodeling + everything that went into it, bed and appliances ate up all of our savings, so we'll be able to afford one piece of furniture at a time, when we save enough $ for it), but as of yesterday, when the kitchen became functional (a good pal of mine and me are building it from scratch, still not finished with it), the place became capable of supporting life
....and today, we got a telephone line, cable TV and internet service, so it's only appropriate that I drop by here! :D

I'll try to catch up with what you're been doing during this time, but I can't promise a lot - inbox is loaded with much more stuff than I can handle...
(speaking of which, what the hell happened to this place? 'Watch Feed'?!? Why can I see what everybody has faved and shit?! Where am I? Bleah...

No new doodles to post, sorry.....I haven't drawn in ages. Dunno if I remember how to draw anymore..
...and dunno when will I be able to amend that.

Gotta buy a desk first.
:)


--
Viva La Revolución!
  • Listening to: Valentino Boskovic
Damn....7th anniversary, already?

Well, it was (and still is), without a second thought, the most horrible and bitter event in my life, and had left me fucked up for a very long time.......I guess I still cannot fully shake it off. Maybe that's why it still feels (and burns) like something very recent..

IV - 008 by saganich

He was the best of us, and what I wanted to be.
...and if he couldn't take it, what chance do I have...?

****
I've been home alone for a month (wife + kids are at the seaside, with my mother-in-law...it's summer, after all), so there's very little point in preparing my spicy chicken stew with homemade pasta, which he liked so much, and which I traditionally prepare on this day because of that.
I am quite skilled at cooking and love doing it, ,but I totally can't be arsed to cook just for myself....

What I'm gonna do when I get home from work is get properly wasted on my own, and draw my butt off 'till morning. With Bauhaus, Joy Division, Sisters of Mercy and The Doors pumping in my ears.
Just like he'd do, if he were still here...

I'll never forget you, pal.
  • Listening to: Grimes
  • Eating: frozen fries
  • Drinking: espresso
yes, you heard it right - formerly-hyper-productive-now-hellishly-busy drugTito is actually gonna post a deviation in 2014 AD!
..and not one, but three! Oh, my!

As it happens, it has been brought to my attention that the final 5-page batch of 'Wrath of the Ages' #4 by Tf-SeedsOfDeception has been released, as well as the cover for #5....and since final 2 of those pages and the cover have my pencils+inks on it, I'll be posting those.

....when I BLOODY FIND THEM.

Namely, the cover was drawn nearly 2 years ago, and aforementioned final two pages (done by myself and Herr Clu-art on colours) have been lying in wait 100% finished for nearly 2 and a half years, inks alone for nearly 3 full years.
Why? Because three remaining pages before them have been stuck in limbo for ages.

Because someone or someone-s took their sweet fucken time 'colouring' them.

...so I thank the kind soul who recently took those 3 pages in and finished them, and made it all eligible for release.

****
I know this is all for free, I know real life and obligations come first, and all the blabbity-blah-blahs, but c'mon, people!
I'm NOT talking about things which I decide to experiment with and do them in an unorthodox way (which I presume would yield the best result, that I'm unable to produce myself), with kind-of dragging in a hypothetical accomplice who'd resume the work (you know who you are).
For such stuff, I feel equally guilty myself for choosing that path, due to the projected end-result for which I lack the skill to deliver on my own.
...but regarding these 'classic' tasks, done in the most orthodox fucking manner possible (script->pencils->inks->colours->lettering->PROFIT!), well......that's something different.

All the given excuses - I've been there personally, and I know what's genuine (and in what amount), and what's lazy-ass bullshit and utter disrespect toward those who have completed their tasks.
The attitude of "I ain't being paid, so I can handle it however the fuck I want." is a disease, and precisely the reason why (a hypothetical) you will never jump from your bedroom straight to being a super-famous comic-artist in Japan.

Legitimate excuses or made-up ones, the basic rule is very simple:
If you can't deliver the shit in a reasonable timeframe, do NOT take the task. Period.
As bloody simple as that.

Y'know, I recently (yet again) declined a collaboration on a comic-pitch (to a big publisher), as well as (yet another)  gig on illustrating a children's book.
I would've loved working on that, especially given the fact that I haven't had a chance to sit down and draw in many MANY months due to being constantly occupied elsewhere, around the clock.....but (like with everything else) I took a coupla days to mentally break down the whole process and consider it throughout, and after realizing that I simply have no room to squeeze it in and cannot foresee the delivery, I sent back a 'thank you for your confidence, but sadly, I can't do it... and I suggest you look elsewhere' note.
Instead of dragging on the projects indefinitely and wasting people's time.


...and that's why I don't wanna play collaborative fan-art anymore.
I've certainly done my share, but I'm afraid that was it. These pages, when I find them, will be a final nail in the coffin of that concept as far as I'm concerned.
Because it truly is super-fun to wait for three exciting years before you see your stuff published!

So...of I go on my construction site, tonight I'll dig through my old laptop and see if those things are still there. If I manage to grab some time before collapsing.
I have a real life too, and then some. ..

No hard feelings toward the SoD crew...on the contrary - they're awesome and do their best to survive and deliver fan-comics in this world of vultures and wannabees.
As for the 'collaborator(s)' who fit the description above, well........

Two and a half years, plus. Man.
I could've carved those fucken pages in marble by now.
Life-size. And with animatronics built in.
Phew!

How long has it been? Since kid #2 was born..?
5 months, then...
I remember it was darn cold outside when I last visited here....and now, if I stood outside for too long, my face would melt. Hot, just how I like it. :D

First off, belated thanks for all the faves, watches, birthday wishes and so on...... thank you so much!
In case you've wandered, well, here I am.....alive and well.
No, I wasn't tortured and mauled by a pod of homosexual dolphins on my last visit to the coast......just busy as hell. Handling 2 kids with no relatives who'd jump in is a very demanding task, especially paired with things like a full-time job, moonlighting gigs, and life in general and functioning in it on daily basis.

Bottom line is, zero time for drawing. Zero.
During these 5 months, I managed to draw 2 pages of something, and that's it, not one line more.......and in the light of that, I need to have very little contact with the world of amateur art, coz it has a very frustrating effect on me.
I'm not even sure if I know how to hold a pencil after all this time..

...but I don't give a shit!  That will come back in no time.
Things have been good, kids are growing like mushrooms after the rain (especially the little one), and I need nothing more to be happy. It's all temporary anyway - vacation time is coming relatively soon, so I'll catch a breather there.

And last but not the least - after a painful 40-day process of applying for 30 years of debt-bondage toward the bank, our loan was granted, and 17 years after moving away from my parents, I now have my own place.
Starting today.
Keys are right in front of me.

I can't say how it feels, since I don't know yet.
As with all big things in life, one needs to get properly wasted in good company, have a looong sleep and wake up fresh as a rose...and only then has the information been processed properly....
Step by step.... Relax


Now to remodel the place, then move in, then send the missus and the kids away for the summer and slowly furnish it, bit by bit....first with essentials needed for living in it, and later with all the additional stuff, when they get back...........but those are sweet worries.

Coz it's MINE. :heart:
....I've become a dad. Again.
My son got a baby brother earlier today...

I gotta tell ya, yours truly sure does make darn good-looking kids! :D

Cheerio! :ahoy:
  • Reading: Abadzis - "Laika"
  • Drinking: rakia!
This: www.evoluent.com/vm4r.htm
Borrowed it from a friend for a try-out period and took it to work for a week. Getting used to it took a bit, but after that, o mai...

For someone who's been working full-time in CAD for ten years straight and suffers big-time from carpal tunnel syndrome (I even have a surgery coming up soon), this baby felt fantastic, as if my wrist was being angelically caressed by six purest virgins, soundtrack included.
After this, grabbing a regular, horizontal digital rodent just feels so fucked up and wrong.

Now I have to give it back :(

...and most probably cough up a hundred bucks plus shipping to get myself one. Either that, or experience the joy of seeing my right hand slowly deform into a crooked claw.

As another friend would say: "Never try."
  • Listening to: Pretty Hate Machine
  • Reading: 'Appunti per una storia di guerra'
  • Watching: Twin Peaks
  • Drinking: Espresso
Sorry, did I say 'wife and kid' in the last journal entry?
My bad.

It's too late for this old goat anyway......and given that our little guy is the single best and most amazing thing I've ever done, I figure the only way to fight this infinitely (and increasingly) shitty day-and-age and its retarded values is to have one more warrior on the side of light.......and to learn from the mistakes of my own retarded upbringing, and to do my best, with pride and joy, so those who come after can one day make a difference where their old man had failed.

So yeah, it should've said 'kids', in plural....
...coz there'll be 4 of us in January.

Screw you, world! :headbang:
  • Listening to: Twin Shadow
  • Watching: Oliver Age 24
  • Eating: tuna
The city sure feels like it, after three weeks of total seaside bliss...
Just me and my wife and kid, and the whole house to ourselves. And a beach right on its doorstep. Shade, sounds of the sea and cicadas, gentle breeze, captivating aroma of fresh fish on the charcoal grill and the taste of the fantastic local wine.........what more does one need? :la:

I didn't take the fucken laptop, I didn't watch any news on TV, I didn't buy papers...... there was already too much accumulated garbage in my system that needed to be purged, I didn't let anything more demanding than newsstand comics contaminate my brain any further. I just didn't wanna know.
Now, since I'm back to the usual un-pleasantries and usually refuse to live in total ignorance, I gotta slowly catch up with all the lovely events such as tornadoes in northern Italy, train wrecks in Spain with dozens of fatalities, and so on....but that's all flexible. Baby steps.

We did get my parents-in-law for weekends (it's their summer house after all), but that didn't disturb me much.
..although, truth be told, I'm well aware that my father-in-law doesn't like me much, he never did.....and pretty much talks to me only when he has to. The other son-in-law is much more to his liking and they share many common interests to talk about....and top of that, the cynical me kinda saw through his facade of projected super-coolness very early on and in a way I (silently) regard his behavior, quirks and small eccenticities as something a stubborn and spoiled man-child would do, and am not impressed as others around him are. He holds no 'social authority' over me, so to say.......and I think he's very uncomfortable with that.
It does bother me, but I guess I can live with it. :shrug:

Anyways...
Last year, I was totally exhausted by all the drawing that I did (after all, it was my most productive year ever, hobby-wise), so I spent most of my vacation time reading............and this year, I barely did any drawing at all, due to being engaged elsewhere. So this time, I packed me a bag full of art supplies......which resulted in dozens of sketches, drawings, paintings, comics, you name it! Honestly, I can't remember the last time when I did some drawing with no actual purpose or goal, just for the sake of it.....and it feels great!
Add to that the fact that some stuff which I drew ages ago for dA collabs is now finally free to be shown...........which means that, after months and months of total silence here, I now have a shitload of stuff to post! :D

...and I gotta say, this was perhaps the first time ever that I wasn't totally depressed by the fact that the vacation time was ending. Not that was eager to leave, but I simply didn't mind returning here, at all.......it was a bit of a shock, from the road straight to the office (plus I shared a train compartment with 2 drunk German blokes who sang football chants for hours), but I just couldn't be derailed by anything - batteries are fully recharged, the pace at work is still super-sluggish (half of the city is away on vacations), and I feel good and rested.
Plus, my wife and kid will be remaining at the seaside for another month.........and since the new place (where we moved in in October) has air conditioning and can be lived in while the outdoors feels like the inside of an oven , I'll try to use that time as productively as possible and do some more drawing.

So...yeah.
Things are good.

Expect stuff here. :)
  • Listening to: Tubeway Army
  • Reading: Martin Mystere
  • Watching: Californication S6
  • Eating: Oranges
  • Drinking: Green tea
2 months since my last sign of life here.... :/

Yeah, I'm still alive.
I guess.

Nothing's changed - all work and absolutely no play, no news to share, no new stuff to show.....as if that last journal entry was written today.
No point in drawing commissions when we can make 10x by doing other stuff during that time, and no point in drawing just for the sake of it, there's no time to waste coz there's money to be earned. Gotta make the best of it while it lasts.
We're doing very fine so far, but I really can't wait for all this to be over and done with.

The previous year was most likely my most-productive year ever, comics-wise. I was even a part of a team which won a very prestigious award.
...whereas in 2013, I've been drawing 3 remaining pages of my last 'Get a Life' episode since New Year's, and I managed to finish only 2 so far :/
And that's it. All of it.

I'm forgetting how to do this shit, I swear.

I've been to my old hometown recently, after a year's time......and dad kept his promise and used the opportunity as our joint effort to clean up the attic once and for all. I haven't been up there in ages....
Anyways, I found some things I completely forgot about and erased from memory, and didn't find things which I had hoped to find there...and since I didn't, and they're nowhere to be found, it means they had been already tossed away at some point after I left 15yrs ago, and are lost for good (interesting enough, for some strange reason I still call that place 'home').
Huge letdown, since I was really looking forward to seeing and holding it all after many, many years.......so it kinda painted the whole trip blue.
...so as a result, I collected everything that belonged to me or was done by me and I would like to keep it for whatever reason, and brought it back with me.
After this, there are almost no physical remains of mine left there, and my connection to that place dropped down quite a few notches. áAnd I really don't know how to feel about it.

In any case, I did dig out heaps of my ancient doodles and picked the ones worth saving.....so in utter lack of any new material, I may decide to burn your eyes with those. :)

One last thing - huge and very special thanks to those of you who sent birthday well-wishes, llamas, dedicated drawings and photos...thank you so much :)

I'm certainly not at the point where I had imagined myself to be at this age.......I don't have my own independent creative company, my own place at the seaside, significant achievements or drive a vintage Alfa Romeo.......but were faring infinitely better than I would have predicted at this time last year. Finances-, security- and family-wise, that is.
Artistic-expression-wise, well.....that's a whole different story.

....but I'm not an artist, anyway.....so I guess it doesn't matter.

Stay sexy! :)


EDIT:
I'm an idiot......I *do* have some *massive* news.
But I ain't telling, not yet.

Soon...:evillaugh:
  • Listening to: cars passing
Some time ago, I used to hang out here quite often, and was in touch with all of you and your work, and it made me very happy. Sort of a getaway from woes of everyday life......and now, It's been over a month since I last logged in.

Such are the times, I guess.
The thing is, faced with the ever-lasting problem of illegal construction, the goverment undertook an extensive aerial survey of the entire country in June 2011, and recorded every single existing building. So that everything appearing on the survey can be legalized over the course of 2 years.
Everybody who doesn't want their building(s) or part(s) of the bulding(s) being scheduled for demolition at their own expense, has to find someone in my field of work and have him do all the field measurements, draw plans, sections, descriptions, math and calculations, then take that and pay punitive XYmonies per unit of volume to the state, and their building is as good as legal, as if it had a permit all along.

....and even though it was taken lightly at first, June 2013 is slowly approaching and the water is beginning to rise very dangerously. All kinds of characters whose DIY--designed houses couldn't fit within the requirements/limitations of the respective zoning plan, now have their chance of making them legit forever after. So the work just keeps piling up, and up, and up.
Especially considering the last time something like this happened was in 1968.....and although the fees are hefty, the Great Unwashed realizes they almost certainly won't be having another shot at something like this during their lifetimes.

To be honest, I DESPISE the idea behind this all. Everybody who went by the book and in accord to  law, norms and restrictions  is now a MAJOR-class sucka, and got out with less by paying more.
I won't even start with professional ethics, and all possile levels on which this whole shebang is DEAD WRONG.

...but then again, it sure feels good to once again live with practically 2 (and a half) solid salaries in the house, as opposed to one puny one for a number of years. Our bank accounts haven't touched zero balance in months, there's a brand new beast of a laftop in front of me, I don't need to watch out for every penny anymore, and I even got me some utterly unnecessary expensive stuff I've long wanted (yes, Takara BW Reborn ultra OP and Megs, I'm talking to you!).......but it comes with a price - it's all work, work, work.
Division of duties and production 'round the clock, with babysitting in the middle.

So....not only I'm slowly dying inside at work, but I'm doing it in my own time as well.
After that last 'Get a life' cover in early February, I haven't drawn one single line that is not in CAD...... :(
I believe you can understand why I'm keeping myself away from this place.............

June is not that far, and this is an opportunity that must not go un-seized....so I guess there's no dilemma at all.
Ah, well....

And last but not the least, thank you for all in-the-meantime faves, watches and whatnot!
I have about a gajillion messages here, I can't possibly go through all....so my apologies for that.

Did anything of interest happen to any of you? Finished a nice piece of work?
Did any get married, have babies, or got new brothers and sisters..?
It feels like forever since I've last been here...
  • Listening to: neighbor above vacuuming
...but I haven't been here much lately. Barely logged in at all during last 3 weeks.
And the number of messages just keeps growing and growing, so apologies, but  I guess I'm just gonna axe'em all.

It's just that my time and attention are really needed elsewhere, and as a result, I drew only a few lines in 2013 so far.
So it kinda makes me go nngh, upon seeing so many wonderful things you sexy people do.

When I really want to do/have something, and I cannot afford time/finances/whatever to make it happen, I kinda tend to distance myself from it 100%, in any form. How ever long it takes.
A retarded recipe/pattern of mine which I've noticed.

...so I guess it'll be a while more.
But it's for the better.

Stay sexy!
S.
  • Listening to: Ănima
  • Reading: George R.R.R.R.R.R.R. Martin
  • Watching: Breaking Bad
  • Playing: with my kid
Heh!
It just occured to me that I didn't experience one single cigarette-craving episode whole day yesterday. Today also.
I mean, I't been a good while since I quit, but there would always be few "hnng, if only could only have one..." brief mental flashes each day-
Now, nothing. Zilch. Not one thought.
Honestly, I didn't think it was possible...

...but then again, the Pope resigned this week. I didn't think that was possible either, I figured the title was for life......so I guess this is a week of wonders!

Particularly coz, due to working our asses off during the last few months, plus few lucky (but deserved) breaks, our bank-account balances are - all of a sudden - above zero. Well above.
Something that hasn't happened in, um......I honestly can't remember.

Probably around the last time when a Pope quit his job, which makes it an event equally epic.
And an even bigger miracle.

Nevertheless, here's one for the old guy:
The Prophecy by saganich

Popes deserve a break too.....
  • Listening to: David Gray
  • Reading: The Adventures of Blake and Mortimer. Hating it.
  • Watching: Darkplace. Again :)
  • Eating: salmon <3
Ahem!

After the insanely and inhumanly exhausting 2010 (and its Great Journal), un-fucking- believably dull and stale 2011 (and its Short-but-Bitter Journal), I figured I should keep the tradition alive....so, here it is.

All in all, pro-s and con-s set side-by-side, I can say this was truly a great year. Especially considering it began with the opulent and bizarre cult-like party full of strangers, in a mansion in the middle of nowhere...

:bulletred:
Professionally, the year was disastrous.
The economy was in severe crisis its 4th year in a row. My professional branch is one of those which got the heaviest blows, and  I'm still one of those lucky bastards in my field of work who has a job.
The only thing that saved the company is one disgusting law brought by the government, which goes totally against my professional and personal ethic, but it brought us work and earnings. And saved our asses from the pits of Hades.
It also brought me a co-worker (due to increased workload) so I'm no longer alone with the elderly Boss, and that's good.
Moreover, the Boss formally retired, so I'm the one with the License stamp now, and responsible for everything.

What will happen after June 2013, when said law expires, and the bullshit that's feeding us becomes once again impossible and illegal, It's up to anyone's guess. Most probably, we'll close.
.......but since I tend to keep my pro-related stuff away from this account, I won't be bothering you with it anymore.

:bulletred:
On personal level, the year was fantastic.
I'll remember it as a year when we both managed to bring some extra income in the house, the year when we had one of the most amazing and relaxing summer vacations ever, the year when we moved into a fantastic new place that turned my life and mind upside down, the year when I finally ditched cigarettes, and the year when my boy was proclaimed clear of all potential medical consequences stemming from his weird birth defect and major reconstructive surgery that took place immediately after he was born, 2 1/2 years ago. And that makes me happy beyond measure.

:bulletred:
On a hobby-related level (what this account is all about), this year was one of the best ever!

It began back in January 2012, when M3Gr1ml0ck chose me as a regular 'artist' for 'Get a Life'
:iconmartin-mystere:
the brand-new monthly publication for 'A.Mys', the Official fan club of the Italian comic series 'Martin Mystere'. I saw it as an opportunity to try to get myself out of the sticky and suffocating mud of staleness of the previous year, to do something fresh and new, and to put my skills and speed to test......and as it turned out, it was precisely what i needed.
So far, It resulted in total of 50 interior b/w pages and 10 covers, 4 of which I coloured as well ( all including one issue still to be released)

With spirits boosted by this above, I was hired (alongside crnorizlatea) to be a part of the team responsible for the multimedia promo-campaign of this year's edition of 'Hartera' music festival. The two of us authored the 44-page 'Radio Jesus' comic, around whose plot and characters the whole campaign was themed, and which was released in small portions on the festival's web and FB page, as well as pushed to users of the festival's awesome mobile app, the innovative core of the campaign.
I was responsible for writing, drawing, colouring and lettering 23 of those pages, plus a dozen or so illustrations on the side. used in the mobile app.
Insane amount of work in a very short time, but we pulled it off....and then some!

Add to this 1 TF-Multiverse comic page, 5 painted pages of 'The Bell Men' (of which I'm *especially* proud! - divljasvinja.deviantart.com/ga… ), 8 more pages of assorted stuff (some of which  I can't show just yet), 2 'retarded mini-comix', 10-ish standalone pictures, and one sculpture, and I think the count is - in my humble opinion - quite impressive.
Total of 87 interior comic pages *alone*, not counting the rest.

Now, this comes very close to my legendary and so-far-unparalleled year of 2003, when I finished my classes and gave myself a year to blow off steam before getting a temp-job and ultimately graduating........and perhaps even surpasses it, which I cannot check for sure, since many things from that period weren't precisely dated.

...but you know what? I think this one counts more!
Coz back then, all I was doing was getting wasted and laid while living on coffee, a pack of smokes and a pretzel daily, and just drew, drew, drew like crazy.....and now, I achieved this alongside a full-time job, all the responsibilities of a grown self-providing individual, a (demanding!) toddler at home and no relatives to jump in regarding anything in 300-km radius. Plus, I learned so much new stuff, more than I did in *years*!
Like, eff yeah!

Since I mentioned achievements.......'Hartera 2012' promo-campaign (and me as a co-author) won a *very* prestigious award - 1st place in the 'Interactive and electronic media' category on the national 'Designers' Society' biennale.
Elite stuff.
Also, 'Get a Life' was publicly recognized by the creator of the comic it's based upon (!!!), first online then got talked about (and praised) in the afterword of one official books toward the end of the year, and the collection is very likely going to receive an endorsed printed edition.
See, people? That's how you do fan-art!

Speaking of 'Get a Life' , I have yet to finish the second half of the last episode I worked on (1st part will be published Jan '13, second one whenever), after which I'll be leaving the series for an indefinite period of time.
As planned, I stuck with it for a full year's time (and some more) as a month-by-month regular, and allowed Franco time to build up almost a year's worth of future monthly issues drawn by other people.....and now when the project is fully up on it's feet (and  starting to spread ts wings, due to official recognition!) and its pool of contributors is growing every day, I think my 'mission' here is (for the time being) done.

The position sure has its benefits and perks, but I sadly have to leave - I simply need to concentrate my (very limited) time/efforts on other stuff.
(and if you're interested in joining, just sling Franco a note).

*****
So......that's about it.
As for New year's resolutions, well........just one word:
Rewind.

To ditch this fake and empty online bullshit as much as possible,to  re-build lost *real* relations with *real* people, to stop being constantly pissed-off at the shitty inhuman time we live in and its utterly retarded "culture" of recycling and ruining all that was good, and to simply look back.
To look at that what I had and lost, and to try to get it back, to work on it and to make it grow.  Either physically or figuratively, be it out there, or in my head, or buried in my ancient scrapbooks.
And to use that as fuel and inspiration for moving ahead with joy.

And to learn from my son.
For as much as I yet have to teach him, he can teach me as well, and teach me precisely what I lost.

..because his "No, we don't have to go now!! We only have to play!!" is probably the most impact-ful thing I've heard in a very long time.

Peace be with y'all, and all the best in 2013!



--
Viva La Revoluciˇn!
  • Reading: AXA
  • Eating: buckets
  • Drinking: espresso with milk
Hmm...

I was gonna write about stuff.....
Like, how I went through a very severe anxiety episode the other day, when a 25-yr old dude - speeding twice as fast as the speed limit (at least, it's still to be determined) -  lost control of his supercharged Toyota Celica and ended up on the sidewalk killing (on-spot) a father and his 8-yr-old boy, who were walking toward the school,.....and I started thinking about how I would react if the same happened to my family, and if everything vanished in split-second because of some motherfucker compensating for his lack of cock length.
...and I ended up in a very dark place.
So I'll skip that subject.

I was gonna write about how I was really pissed off at my father-in-law, whose flight home from Paris got diverted due to horrible weather and ended up here, and who has some inexplicable mental issues regarding taking a bus or a taxi , so someone had to go to all the way to the airport and pick him up.......so I ended up missing half of the concert taking place last night, which i was really looking forward to (and had tickets for)
As it happened, the (remainder of) the concert wasn't that super-great (I really need to learn to kill all expectations in life), so I guess it doesn't matter...

Also, I was gonna write about a party gone horribly wrong - which was all over the news recently - when among a bunch of youngsters, a guy and a gal started groping each other, so the others left the room and let them have their fun......but obviously, the gang had too much to drink and smoke, plus had been watching too much kinky porn online, and apparently (coz there simply is no other explanation, they both (allegedly) remember nothing), went fashionably eXXXtreme and experimented a bit with (very deep) anal fisting (yowza!), and went just a wee bit overboard....coz, at some later point, they found her unconscious in a puddle of blood& gore, with massive chunks of her intestines all over, and the totally dazed and lost-for-words dude next to her.
However, that story is too gross, so I'm gonna spare you the ghastly details..okay?

But you know what?
About half an hour ago, I found some smelly half-rotten lettuce in the back of the fridge, and tossed it into the trash bin.....and the resulting puff of odor that came rising up, combining the smelly lettuce and stuff already in the trash -  peeled-tomato cans, empty mustard tube, onion peels, some old food leftovers.. - smelled SO insanely familiar!! But I just couldn't put my finger on it, uagghh.....
So I went down on my knees, stuck my head in the cabinet below the kitchen sink (where the trash bin is), closed my eyes and took a deep breath through the nostrils....and then it hit me.

It's the smell of bloody McDonald's!!!!!

So I guess that's what I'm gonna write about!
I have no idea what triggered it or how. Or why.
All I know is that I was heading home from work today, and at some point shivered to the bone, and experienced a crystal-clear flashback.

Of me being 6 or 7, staying with my grandparents in their village during the summer, and bringing something totally super cool to my grandpa....something metal and very heavy, which I found half-buried alongside the path through the bush, which I used as a shortcut to the beach.

Grandpa turned pale.

Whole lotta fuss ensued, and very soon the village got swarmed by strange people. I was being questioned by those in suits, while those in uniforms were running all over the place and the beach, setting the perimeter, and unloading strange  boxes and unfamiliar equipment from their vans.
Police, I think. And those in olive-green trucks must have been from the army.
Total madness.

Because young divljasvinja brought home an unexploded WW2 anti-personnel land mine.

Why has it all been practically erased from my memory all this time, I really cannot tell.
..and how come divljasvinja's story didn't end in a gut-covered crater 25+ years ago, is an even bigger mystery..
  • Listening to: Histoire de Melody Nelson
  • Reading: Magasin General
  • Drinking: Nescafe
After one removal-van for large stuff (with one crew member as help) and seven rounds with my fully packed subcompact entirely on my own, all  I can say is........holy fuck.

Two and a half days of taking the stuff down from 4th floor, carefully arranging it in the car (with all seats collapsed) so there's not one air-pocket left and space is used as efficiently as possible (yet in a way that I can still see behind), driving to new place, and taking it all up to the 1st floor (the one above the elevated ground floor)....while my Mrs. (with the little one) was on 2 fronts - either thoroughly cleaning up the old place before handing it back to the landlord, or in the new place  and sorting stuff as I was bringing it (plus unpacking the essentials), so we don't end up buried in it all.

Needless to say, I feel like a herd of buffaloes was stomping on me for 2 days.
What's interesting is that the removal dude (who came with the van and does this on daily basis) said that I was in remarkably good shape......and that was a great and unexpected boost! After all these years of rotting away on a desk job, divljasvinja from the days of old is apparently still here! :la:

And no - I didn't get my 3 days off I was (technically) legally entitled to due to moving house......that's only for zillion government and state officials and employees, we who work in private companies can only get a cock down our throats for daring to ask for anything outside bare minimum .
We're the ones paying taxes for their Christmas bonuses, vacation bonuses and all kinds of crap, yet they're the ones who are protected by countless unions and are constantly on strikes and mass-protests whenever their rights are even-only-in-theory being messed with.
Naturally.

Fuck it. I'll live.
What's important is that it's done, and that we just need to hand over the keys to the old landlord this afternoon, pay what we still owe there, get some rest, and then slowly start organizing the new place.
And chill...coz an epic undertaking is behind us.


..although, not nearly as epic as the stunt that insane Austrian dude pulled off yesterday, which was so awesome that it made all my aches fade away when just thinking of it..
Parachuting down from the edge of space and breaking the fucking sound barrier in free-fall.

One thing puzzles me - I didn't see an extra space suit attached to his, to house his balls.
Coz Felix, you crazy fuck, that's one pair of METEOR-sized cojones you got there!!!!!
Congrats!!!
:clap::clap::clap::clap::winner:
Packing, packing, packing...

Packing up three whole lives in boxes, cases, bags and preparing them for transport to another place.
Not an easy task, very extensive, ugly, and messy.........but finally an opportunity to sort out our belongings, decide what we really need, and to get rid of that which we don't. In order to start fresh and clean, and free of unnecessary hindrance of any kind.
...and slowly but surely, progress is being made.

Personally, I was terrified of packing up the blasted toy collection, I knew it would take ages to dust and transform every robot, secure all his accessories, add padding and shit and arrange it in one of many big boxes already loaded with his companions. Luckily (or not, depends on how you look at it), the collection isn't nearly as large as it used to be, since I have sold off many little plastic bastards due to financial reasons. I separated some more of them now, for further sale-wave as soon as we settle down in the new place and unpack.
What's funny is that I didn't need instructions at all - after a bit of fiddling, I remembered the process for every single one.
...except RiD Megatron & Galvatron. Never did like the "because we say it's so" alt-modes in general, and these guys have it times 10.

Anyways, thats done now. As are 1:24 die-cast cars (the other main group),  plus other kiddie-stuff on the side. What can I say.....old traumas of an 80s working-class kid, whose first investment when he started working were the toys he never had....

My books, comics, music and films are also sorted and packed in 6-7 big boxes. One more will be taken to my local library this afternoon, where its contents will be donated.....because I simply cannot sell that stuff, that would be totally wrong.
Culture belongs to everybody.

...and all that listed above makes up 9/10 of my personal belongings.

I sorted out the clothes, too. Half of it will be kept, smaller part of the other half went straight to trash (torn/unusable/stained) , and the bigger part (stuff I simply don't wear) is now neatly folded in one gigantic plastic bag and ready to be taken to a homeless shelter nearby.

What's curious regarding my clothes is that I've kept many items solely for sentimental reasons, with no intention of ever wearing them again.
...such as a t-shirt with a heat-pressed graphic I made specifically for wearing while picking up my wife and son from the hospital when he was born, which at some later point ended up washed with whites and its picture got melted, then a black t-shirt with a huge cigarette-burned hole made long ago by one special person (as was the hole-corresponding scar on me), or a t-shirt covered with dried blood, which I was wearing when I got my face smashed by a thug in Barcelona in 1996......and many more.

......and all are gone now. Straight in garbage.
Save for the only perfectly good item from the 'sentimental' pile, which ended up in the 'homeless' bag - a shirt bought for one occasion 5 yrs ago and worn only that one time, with absolutely no intention of wearing it ever again.

I'd say there are much better ways to remember my dear friend than to hold on to a shirt I wore to his funeral...